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Twilight About three things I was absolutely positiveFirst Edward was a vampireSecond there was a part of him—and I didn't know how dominant that part might be—that thirsted for my bloodAnd third I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with himDeeply seductive and extraordinarily suspenseful Twilight is a love story with bite Save your time here's the entirety of Twilight in 20 dialogue snippets a wiggedy wack intermissionFirst 200 pagesI like you EdwardYou shouldn't I'm dangerousI like you EdwardBut I'm dangerousNext 50 pagesI'm a vampireI like you EdwardBut I'm a vampire I'm dangerousI like you EdwardNext 100 pagesI like you EdwardYou smell good Bella I'm dangerousI like you EdwardDamn you smell goodI like you EdwardAlso I glow in sunlightNext 50 pagesA VAMPIRE BASEBALL GAMEI wish I was kiddingLast 100 pagesHelp me Edward I'm being chasedI'll save youHelp me Edward I'm scaredI'll save youOh EdwardYou smell goodOne half star for lack of uality and one half star for being unintentionally hilarious especially page 314 Okay I have to say that I picked this book up partly due to all the hype and partly because it's involved two of my favorite genres I mean so many people had recommended it to me and I finally got sick of hearing about it so I picked it up and read it or as least tried toLet me first say that I am a huge romance and vampiresupernatural fan so when I first heard about the book I was really excited to read it because it combined two of my favorite genresBut I really regret ever buying and forcing myself to finish it I hate not finishing books even if I hate them it was so bad Though let me tell you that I really wanted to like it really I did I'm one of those people who likes a lot of popular things Twilight was popular so I figured I would love it just like everyone else but I was very very wrong A lot of fans wonder why I hate the book so much and here is my list and it's a pretty long one so get ready1 Lack of characterizationBella Okay I absolutely hated this girl She was the worst female protagonist I have ever read about She's stupid shallow selfish and just plain annoying Not to mention she's pathetically dependent on Edward I mean come on NO girl should be that dependent on a boy not only is that pathetic but it is very unhealthy She was also a clumsy little damsel in distress who was dumb enough to get herself into situations that she couldn't get out of I would have loved for Meyer to have given her a backbone so she could have done something useful instead of whining and doing stupid idiotic things that no remotely intelligent teenage girl would actually do Not to mention the fact that she is apparently very plain looking if that's the case then why are there several guys fawning over her And according to Meyer one of them is a teacher um ew Bella is a Mary Sue simple as that And I hate Mary SuesEdward Okay this boy is just way too possessive and stalkerish it is not romantic of him to sneak into Bella's room and watch her sleep It's creepy and wrong Oh and bad boys usually don't sit there and say I'm dangerous stay away etc all the time I also hated the fact that Bella described some part of his body every other page It was completely UNNECESSARY Okay we get the fact that he's hot Bella now MOVE ON I could go on and on about all the characters every single one of them was a flat cardboard cut out that did not seem realistic at all2 Writing stylePurple Prose Ew to this seriously all the purple prose made me want to throw the book across the room Enough said 3 DescriptionsI know I said up there that I got sick of reading about how gorgeous some part of Edward's body was every other paragraph and if that wasn't bad enough what's worse than is the fact that even with all that unnecessary description of him and everyone else though mostly him since Bella is that shallow I still had a hard time picturing him or any of the characters in my head for that matter I also had a hard time picturing a lot of the setting and the action in my head as well It's kind of sad really there was so much description you would think that everything Edward especially would be embedded into my brain but no That's what makes me wonder why so many fans find Edward so hot I never got a clear picture of him in my head to even begin to form an opinion about whether he was hot or notSeriously Meyer completely abused the dictionary and the thesaurus while writing this book so much so that I think she should never be allowed to look at either one ever again there are so many big descriptive words used that could be replaced by smaller words that look and sound better Half the time the words that she does use doesn't really go with what she's trying to say Simply put Stephenie Meyer is a moron and doesn't know that when writing you are supposed to use the thesaurus sparingly aka only when it is truly needed and not any time you damn well please it really ruins everything if it's used too much as Meyer has perfectly portrayed with this atrocious book4 PlotOkay the plot gets it's own category because it pissed me off so much I mean seriously where was it It was nothing but sappy gag worthy fluff between Edward and Bella until page 400 or so when something finally happened And even then it went by so fast and was not explained well at all since Bella conveniently fainted during it which is such a cop out It seemed to me that Meyer just threw it in there and it was only put there in the first place so that she could point at it and say Look there's a plot right there when people like me came around and said otherwise But that's not a plot The plot should not take 400 pages to start And no the whole romance between Bella and Edward is not the plot This is especially the case since we knew from the beginning thanks to the moronic give away on the back cover that states that Bella and Edward were going to fall in love speaking of that who the hell thought it would be a good idea to give away the fact that Edward was a vampire on the back cover I mean really That took away any suspensemystery the book might have had for the reader about what he was so while Bella was stupidly wondering what he was I was sitting there yelling at her for being such a moron and not seeing what was right in front of her5 Plot holes The one thing that drove me absolutely CRAZY was the the fact that no one in the small town of Forks noticed that the Cullens never aged And the children never graduated and went on to college I mean if they've been there for than four years than I'm assuming that someone would have noticed I mean the town could not be full of that many morons Okay I've been told several times that Cullens have only been living in Forks for about two years I guess all the purple prose distracted me from reading and remembering that little detail Speaking of school why in the world would they willingly choose to take high school over and over again Especially since they all have several college degrees which leads me to wonder why since they are so human loving they can't do something useful with their education like Carlisle instead of sitting on their butts all day and just being useless I know they need to fit in but seriously that's just stupid they could always pretend that they're home schooled it's not that uncommon these days Since that's how the Cullens fit into society that means they have to move every four or five years to avoid suspicion right Wow that must really suck However they wouldn't have to do that if they didn't put the younger ones in school since if they were in the workforce and being useful to society then they could stay for a lot longer before people started wondering why they don't age But I think I know why Edward and his siblings tortured themselves day after day by going to high school Stephenie Meyer wasn't creative enough to come up with any other way for Edward and Bella to meet It would have made sense for them to have been neighbors or something I can come up with several nice ideas about how that would have turned out and it would have been much betterI've been told that there are but those are the two that really bugged me Though I love the fans response to the mention of any plot hole the rabid ones not the sane ones of course It usually goes like this Well it is a fictional vampire book That's a stupid reason Just because it's a book with vampires doesn't mean it's exempt from having to be realistic and not having glaring plot holesI've also been told that there are even in later books but I'm not about to torture myself by reading the rest of the series just to find them and list them I have better things to do with my time like reading books that are actually good and not a waste of my time or money6 VampiresLike I said before I'm a big vampire fan But this book is an embarrassment to vampire fiction The vampires are pathetic sweet innocent almost misunderstood creatures I know that Meyer has every right to create her own idea about vampires And to be honest I was okay with her idea about vampires until they started sparkling VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE To have them sparkle takes away the evilness of the myth of the creatures since they are creatures of the devilat least originally they were Evil creatures do not sparkle the idea's laughable at best Most normal people are not scared of something that sparkles in the sun I mean I know if I saw someone sparkling; I would not immediately think vampire and run Not only because I don't associate sparkling with vampires but also because how the hell is sparkling evil or scary By the way the whole sparkling vampire idea just seemed to be there because Meyer wanted a reason as to why the vampires could even walk around in the daylight to begin with The idea was just a convenient way for her to write the vampires Since she's incapable of coming up with a better much creative idea I don't mind the fact that they could come out during the day since that's not unheard of in vampire fiction nowadays but I wish that Meyer had come up with a better idea that didn't make me laugh uncontrollably at the thought All the other myths about vampires are nonexistent Holy water and garlic won't bother them just like the sun stake through the heart won't kill them either even beheading them won't get rid of them She made her vampires practically invincible which is annoying The only way to really kill one of her vampires is to rip it apart and burn the pieces or to blow it up Two things that a human would have a hard time doing which makes me wonder why if they're so invincible they live in secrecy Especially since from my knowledge most vampires don't live like the Cullens they could careless about humans If most other vampires were so cruel why don't they come out to humanity and take over It makes a lot sense since a mere human would have a very difficult time killing just one vampire The fact that they had no weaknesses annoyed the crap out of me Along with being almost invincible they all had these special powers but they didn't have the bad side effects with them only the good All in all her vampires were perfectI don't like my vampires to be blood thirsty monsters that kill everything in sight But I also don't want them to be so pathetic and innocent either The only two vampiric ualities that are there are the ones that are well known among everyone drinking blood well sort of since the Cullens are vegetarian vampires; an idea that seriously made me laugh and being immortal Otherwise the Cullens are disgustingly human likeI think the thing I have the problem with the most is the fact that Meyer has never seen any vampire moviestv shows or read any vampire novels There's this saying in regards to writing Write what you know Stephenie Meyer knew nothing about vampires when she wrote this horrible excuse for a vampire novel which is probably why it was so awful in comparison to other vampire novels whether those books are in the romance section of the bookstore or the horrorsci fi section A good author always does their research whether it's fiction or non fiction is irrelevant This doesn't mean that she needed to go by the other myths it just means that she should have done a little research to see what she was getting herself into If she had done this I would have been able to respect her ideas because at least then she would have done her research Where the vampires are concerned this novel is an embarrassment to vampiresupernatural fiction7 MessagesI am somewhat appalled at the messages that this book sends out they are so anti feminist it's disgusting1 It's perfectly okay to have no goals or aspirations or even an education just get yourself a man and he'll take care of you All Bella wants is to be with Edward some aspirations huh2 It's also perfectly okay to like someone because of their physical features this is not love people it's lust They have nothing in common He likes her because she smells nice and she likes him because he's hot Bella goes on and on and on about how hot some part of Edward is every other page3 When you have several guys fawning over you pick the hottest one of them all because looks are so very important Mike and Eric pretty much say the same thing to Bella on her first day of school but she's nicer to Mike than Eric because the latter wasn't very attractive Also she picks Edward because of his looks as well4 It's okay if the guy you love sneaks into your bedroom and watches you sleep at night before you even know him all that well that's completely normal and romantic not the the least bit creepy or stalkerish It's completely disgusting to hear girls talk about this They swoon and gush about how romantic it is seriously what is wrong with people these days5 It is perfectly okay to become completely obsessed with your boyfriend and depend on him for everything Bella's obsession and dependence on Edward sets feminism back a couple hundred years or so6 It also teaches that not only is it okay to change yourself for a guy but it's also okay to give up EVERYTHING for him as well Bella wants to become a vampire and leave her family and friends to be with Edward What The Hell7 Your life is not complete until you find a man This is nothing but a LIE Girls do not need a man to be completeLike with the plot holes I've been told that there are many terrible messages in later books and once again I'm not about to go out and read the books However I will say this from what I've heard they sound worse than the ones I've already listed8 The ObsessionWell this gets its own category mostly because I just don't understand what all the obsession is over it's a book and a poorly written one at that I run across girls all the time arguing over who Edward belongs to it's pathetic and kind of scary He's a book character he doesn't belong to anyone but Meyer since she's the one who created himI also hate the fact that I can't go into the book store now without being bombarded with a huge display dedicated to this crappy series makes me sick to see such praise and popularity for a mediocre book series when there are so much better authors out there that are virtually ignored since they write real fiction and none of this poorly written wish fulfillment fantasy crapThis was obviously a fulfillment story that I would expect a preteen to write on her livejournal This is not a book I would expect a thirty something year old woman with a college education to write and actually attempt and then succeed in getting published And it was a degree in English seriously I would have expected much better from someone who had that degree since she spent college studying books and analyzing them etc you would think that she would know how to write one the proper wayMeyer could have made this book great but no instead she took the easy way out a cliched simple overused plot and added vampires to itas if that made it any differentHonestly I've read better over on fictionpresscom and that's really sad because most of the authors over there are between the ages of 14 and 26 and are amateurs in the field Maybe if Meyer had posted this up there first it would have been a much better story because the good writers over there would have set her straight Maybe then I would have been able to get through the novel because it might have actually been goodAnd oh just for the record Twilight is NOT the next Harry Potter nor is it better than Harry Potter I say that not only because JK Rowling actually has talent but also because they are in completely different genres and can't really be comparedThough it does make me sick to see Harry Potter even mentioned in the same sentence as this piece of crap unfortunately that couldn't be avoided in this review and it's an insult to JK Rowling to have her amazing writing compared to the horrible writing of Stephenie MeyerEDIT I found this site and thought I should share with everyone creator of the above site has scanned copies of the Twilight books on to her computer and has taken it upon herself to point out the many issues that the books have these are mostly grammatical in nature If you are a fangirl who believes that Twilight is perfect and has no flaws then you should really take a look at this Actual rating 15 stars Believe it or not there are actually a few books that are worse than TwilightOk funny story I was sitting on my couch with my husband last night finishing up Twilight I slammed the book shut and began rubbing my temples Then my husband goes So you finally finished huh Yes I can't believe I used to like this book I said Hahaha Yeah I remember you were on Twilight's balls hard Yeah yeah yeahThere isn't a single book on my shelf that has fluctuated between all ratings besides Twilight No your eyes do not deceive you I actually have read Twilight 4 times I used to hail from Shelfaricom and the first rating I ever gave Twilight was 5 stars After I made the switch to GoodReads I decided to give it 4 stars instead So recently I was browsing my GoodReads shelf I often do that to clean up ratings I noticed Twilight was sitting pretty at 4 stars and was on my favorites shelf At the time I thought Wow that's not accurate at all Maybe it deserves 3 stars But I uickly decided no no noI'll just do a fun little project and re read the series and give them all better ratings If your curious about the details of the project stop on over here Project Hindsight And hey if you like what you see won't you subscribe Yes end shameless self promotion The coolest thing about re reading Twilight is that it has caused me to create really cool new shelves such asKill me now Idiot heroine This is not literature And my personal favorite Where's my chocolate One of the first things I noticed during this re read was how incredibly boring it was Bella is dull as a doorknob And the first few chapters of the book are essentially a 'Bitch Moan Complain' session So we have Bella moving to Forks WA because she wants her mother to be happy on that later And she's all like Ohhhh I hate this place It's green Ewww it's wet Fuck my life And what's one of the first things Bella does when she arrives in Forks She cooks Charlie dinner No I don't have an issue with a female character enjoying cooking but it is practically thrown in my face that Charlie can't fend for himself; Bella has to cook Well what the hell was he doing before she arrived Oh ya did anyone else realize that despite the fact that she says she is not allowed to call Charlie by his first name; she almost always calls him Charlie WTF Bella goes to school and during lunch she first cast her eyes on the Cullen family view spoiler hide spoiler Oh my This book to me is like chocolate a delicious sinful addictive indulgence which you convince yourself has beneficial ualities zinc calcium keeps me uiet at that time of the month in order to justify your addictionBy beneficial ualities I mean that it's reading and since when is reading bad Let me say uite clearly that I'm a sucker for romance especially the intense passionate tragic kind I don't read romance novels though because to me they are lacklustre Meyer's book has the extra edge I need though a great way of keeping doom hanging over the main characters' heads she's human he's a vampireSound corny Yeah I know and the only reason Meyer gets away with it as well as she does is because Twilight doesn't try to be anything it's not and it has such conviction Only Meyer could get away with giving her narrator the name Isabella Swan She says in her little bio at the back that she wanted to write believable characters an interesting choice then to write about vampires but I believed in them and without such a willing suspension of disbelief the story would have been a farce True a lot of people haven't been able to suspend their disbelief with this book but that doesn't affect my reading experience Seventeen year old Bella's parents are divorced She lives with her mum in Phoenix Arizona and spends time with her dad Charlie in Forks Washington State where it rains almost constantly She hates Forks but when her mum remarries a baseball player Phil and starts travelling with him Bella decides to move to ForksOn her first day at school she notices the isolated group of five beautiful graceful siblings Rosalie Alice Emmet Edward and Jasper One in particular catches her eye Edward Cullen with his rust brown hair and topaz eyes She is than a little surprised and shocked when he seems to have developed an acute profound hatred of her Her fascination deepens especially when after a brief disappearance he saves her life She soon figures out what Edward is and the knowledge doesn't frighten her The shaky friendship between them develops into something much stronger and Edward reveals his overpowering reaction to her smell that nearly made him kill her on the spot hence the look on his face that so shocked her and the restraint he put on himself during an hour of BiologyLet's not forget he's incredibly handsome even though Bella describes almost every glance he makes and every twitch of his lips not once did I get bored and roll my eyes My fascination grew alongside hers until I too fell in love with Edward in a totally girly daydreamy way Yes I admit it I don't know if that makes this a girly kind of book these days those boundaries don't seem to matter so much and the vampire family is pretty darn cool what with Edward's extra ability to read minds Alice's premonitions Jasper's ability to affect people's emotions their speed their invincibility Bella is at one point compared to Lois Lane because Edward and his kin really are like SupermanOne of the things I love about YA books the clarity with which they are written Granted there is some repetition in Twilight but to me it's necessary repetition There's nothing superfluous in Twilight nothing that shouldn't be there and the flow the pacing is great It's a fat book but I read it in two days I read it with breakfast on my walk to the subway on the subway up the escalator through the ticket gates to work in my lunch break you get the picture I couldn't get enough of it and it left me with that same craving for that Harry Potter did I remember scrounging around for loose change as soon as I finished one of them and dashing off into the city to get my next fix It helped that four were already out when I started There's plenty of negative stuff you could say about this book the writing the characters the obsession but again I couldn't care less Another thing I loved was all the vampire myths Meyer scrapped These vampires aren't burnt to ash by sunlight their marble skin glitters as the sunlight is broken into miniscule shards like diamonds hence why they are living in Forks where the sun hardly ever shines They are not hurt by crucifixes or stakes through the heart They do not sleep at all nor do they eat human food They drive fast cars really really fast And they can fall in love AwwwwSeriously though this was one of most fun most enjoyable most romantic books I've read in a long time and I'm so happy there are two out with a fourth on the way They are somewhat predictably making Twilight into a movie still in the early development stage but it's rather fun to go to the author's website and see her own preferences for actors to play Edward etc Can't say I'm familiar with most of them but her top choice now sadly too old is indeed a perfect match Who knows who they'll really cast but as with the book the characters have to be right or the whole story will be just silly and sappySince reading this the first time back in 2007 I've started reading some romance novels Yes I've been corrupted Or rather I've always loved romance stories but had trouble admitting it Now I just don't care

  • Paperback
  • 501 pages
  • Twilight
  • Stephenie Meyer
  • English
  • 11 September 2016
  • 9780316015844

About the Author: Stephenie Meyer

Stephenie Meyer is the author of the bestselling Twilight series The Host and The Chemist Twilight was one of 2005's most talked about novels and within weeks of its release the book debuted at #5 on The New York Times bestseller list Among its many accolades Twilight was named an ALA Top Ten Books for Young Adults an com Best Book of the Decade So Far and a Publishers Weekly Bes

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