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Dit kompetente barn What does it mean to be a parent? This book summarizes the Scandinavian way of raising children or at least what is supposed to be Scandinavian correct way of raising children It is a punch in the face of command and control way of raising kids that most of the people of my generation are raised under Children are not stupid and they are not mini versions of grown ups neither A must for every child and parent This book explains how we screw up with good intentions Then the book gives clear advice on how to be a better person to yourself to your children to partners and parents The feelings do not hurt the words and actions do A compelling and revolutionary approach to parenting and family dynamics In this important book Jesper Juul argues that today's families are at an exciting crossroads The destructive values that governed traditional hierarchical authoritarian families are being transformed Instead we can choose to embrace a new set of values based on the assumption that families must be built not on authoritarian force or democratic tyranny but on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child Children are emotionally competent that is they always tell the truth about how they are feeling Parents must begin to listen to and learn from the honest feedback they receive from their children When we feel unhappy or dissatisfied with a situation in the family it is almost always because we were unable to convert our loving feelings into loving behavior To do so we need to become fluent in what Juul calls personal language a language less concerned with shoulds than with our own emotional honesty Using examples from families in many different countries Juul has written a book that challenges parents to see the years with their children as an exciting time of growth and development for the whole family I wish this was compulsory reading for any person that are involved with children but it is really a good read for anyone in an authoritative position Communicating well and learning to understand and respect other people can only help you become a better person I'm a bit sceptical of psychology in general and as such this book did nothing to change that Defining the different kinds of integrity and responsibility as if our personalities can be so easily dissected does not really convince me There are numerous example dialogues where we are told that changing a few words will make all the difference between good parenting and bad parentingThat being said I did appreciate the overall message of the book which is that we need to respect the integrity of our children and be careful to nurture it rather than destroy it I think the kind of upbringing that the reader has had will play a big role in whether this stance seems obvious or radicalFinally this edition is littered with spelling and typographical errors There is literally something wrong on every single page and I found it extremely distracting It was clearly typeset in a hurry Recommend every parent kindergarden pre schoolteacher and teacher in general This book was an eye opener for me If you are a parent or going to be or a brothersister or a teacher you should read this I read it in German Dein kompetentes Kind It was an interesting journey to read all his thoughts and gave me personally a lot of new ideas how to raise my children But not only for my family lifeI work in a crèche and many of his ideas also work there especially all about how you talk to a child and how you interact with it I really like many of his ideas and what I like best you can use them in your daily life it is not just a theory I will now go for his new book I guess What I love about this book is that is not written as a practical guide like the most familyparenting books It doesn’t tell us how to raise our children but how to see them get to know them and understand them It gives us the choice to embrace the great new values and helps the growth of not just the child but the whole family This book is sometimes simplistic or maybe justforeignas you struggle a bit to get what the Danish author is saying But somewhere along the line it grabbed me and drew me into its premise seeing the damage wrought by parental control over children at the expense of good relationship I found myself really interested in understanding and trying to put into use the better ways Juuls suggests of being in relationship with children Children Cooperate is one of this book's main points and it's way scary than it sounds Competence takes on a lot deeper meaning as well once you've read this thoughtful little book Shelve it near Alice Miller Alfie Kohn Thomas Gordon Haim Ginott Jon Kabat Zinn and a few other parenting books that truly may cause you to uestion and change some of your parenting assumptions